A few weeks ago I told a friend, well actually two friends, it was a group text, that I was “30, financially anxious, overwhelmed but gratefully healthy, and completely burned out. What excites me is not how I spend my time. I’m misaligned, it’s up to me to shift back INTO alignment, but right now I don’t have the courage to do that.”
In response, one of them asked me, “Well, if you had $1,000,000 in the bank, what would you be doing?”
Money doesn’t instantly solve things and you can earn a survivable, a thrivable income, doing what you love and enjoy most.
So save that - it was just a great prompt.
My immediate response was the same as what today’s would be: Writing, reading, researching my curiosities, telling story’s, making shorts and documentaries.
I moonlight for myself, writing on weekends, making videos for a loss just to teach myself how to edit, but I haven’t really pursued much of my true desires yet.
What I trust is that over time, I’ll slide closer and closer to alignment, and I’m cool with that.
I wish I was a “No plan B” person. I’m jealous of those who are.
But, anxiety, financial insecurity, and a slight fear of the unknown/lack of confidence are why plan B’s give me comfort.
Why am I telling you this?
I wanted to say it out loud.
I wanted to put it into existence.
I wanted to be honest with you.
I finally ended up watching Roadrunner, Anthony Bourdain’s documentary. Did you know that he was 43 years old when his book Kitchen Confidential came out?
Shit, I’m 30 - what a head start.
If I just keep putting in the reps…
Long ramble, short, a note to myself is to be kind, have patience, and send some compassion to myself.
A note to you is that I got things coming - congrats, you’re early.
But more, if you ever have felt the same, I’m here for ya.
You + me, we got this!